Why do you build me up, buttercup.

I have a fucked up sleeping pattern I must say..

I always wonder why, I do not have an interesting life. Whenever I read other blogs, their lives seem a whole lot less mundane than mine.. Or so I think.. Maybe it's my lack of competence to go into detail of how my days were exactly and my lack in taste for what is considered interesting to me now. I don't know, beats me. I just complain about the same shit every day.

So let me try.

My recent days were filled with void deck gatherings, holland, mccafe, monopoly deal, prawning, smoking, eating, smoking, eating and oh, smoking and eating. I'm a real bummer, I know. And I've been visiting Peninsula quite a bit, to accompany Zhiyi to get her alterations and her new guitar and my pretty babies. Heh. And I never seem to stop eating. WHY. And yesterday, everyone at the table in-sync-ly said the same thing to where my fats all go. But I couldn't agree more. People who are close to me, you guys know where they go and where I usually lose from.

I am very sad to say that my rash is back and I am quite annoyed because I missed out on sending fatty off today. ): Yeah she left for Perth, already. The last I know we were like, "Omg you're going back in 2 weeks." Before we even realise, it's time for her to fly already. I was thinking, of making a trip over to Perth in September! Sounds like fun and hard work at the same time! Need to work my ass away to save up for my plane ticket! But it's be well worth the pain of working!

Oh yeah I'm on Fleet. Sounds cool and harmless right? But it fucking sucks. It's saline laxatives. Doctor suggested I cleanse my system of all 'toxic' so the rash won't come back so often. Saline laxatives are the worst thing you can ever consume. It's like drinking, salt mixed with salt water. IT'S MOTHER FUCKING SALTY HOW ABOUT? And just one sip of it, I already feel like gagging. Imagine drinking about 800ml worth. I swear before I had the runs, I already feel it coming out of my mouth. Gross sorry. Okay, for the sake of clean intestines and a mini diet, I finished a little more than half. Haha I've always hated laxatives. Why take them, when you can just starve? Less torturing.

I don't know why, but I never fail to find my posts really disorganized and lacking in structure. You know, it's the perfect portray of my thoughts because honestly speaking, whatever I type comes straight from my mind without thinking twice. I'm dysfunctional like that, deal with it. If I were to write an essay and have it graded, I would prolly get negative 100. Lack of content, limitation of vocabulary, trashy grammar and lastly, disorientated display of rubbish. It belongs in the bin. ):

Gonna go wallow in self pity and blas ap IN mah engwish. Whoop whoop. Eh by the way sorry I just have to add, I really cannot stand it whenever I read people's tweet and their grammar spelling or the entire sentence just simply comes out wrong! Like "so much for not going" becomes "so much of not going" for example. It's not hard to tell from when it's a mistake(typo) to you're-just-plain-stupid-trying-too-hard when you keep repeating the same "mistake" and never seem to get it right, not even once. You'll be surprised, you get to see a lot of such errors in just one update. I'm not trying to be mean but what I cannot stand is the urge to reply the tweet to correct the mistake. But I always decide that it's too mean. And I'm just too anal. Sorry, who am I to judge, my english also cui.. But, just saying! Not directed to anyone below 25 years old.

Feeling a tad bitchy sorry. ): it's pms + the number of times I've been to the loo make my legs wobbly thus my mood is in the basement. Okay goonai all.

Trimester

For the record, my post titles have no relevance to anything that is in these posts you know? I mean, most of the time.. Whatever I put on the title is just hmm, whatever pops up in my head in that instance. So it's basically random!

Just had dinner with grandmama. I used to hate home cooked food back when I was in secondary school, but now I would kill just to have a home cooked meal. I mean, mama cooks almost every weekday but, I'm hardly home to have dinner. ): Regrets of going through teenage angst and rebellion.

Mama was so cute, she came into the room, stood by the door leaning on the frame in a very cute manner and asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her. Of course! Been years since I sat down with mama in my home and had dinner with her. I've neglected her.. ): I'm sorry. I really am.

When I grow older, I should learn how to cook proper meals for myself and family. And before I do that, I think I should learn to be less of a picky eater. But this habit has been with me all 21 years of my life. Mama is the only one, who extinguishes my hate for luncheon meat. Yes, seriously. I only eat the luncheon meat she cooks. I mean she doesnt cook it any differently it's basically just fried. But because she has a way of always telling me to "try, it's very nice." and I give in and take it. Today she told me, "Once in a while eat, very nice hor?" Hahaha sooooo cute...

And you know what's amazing, she's the only one who gets my fucked up eating habits. She knows exactly what I do not eat. And she's the only one who cooks the same thing two days in a row just because I say I want it. She hardly ever says no to me. About anything. She loves me the best, really. And I'm thankful I have her in my life. I hope she'll stay with me though..

Oh and I'm glad to say that I think I'm back to my "Cleo Days" physique, as Katie would put it. Hehe. Almost there..

Where is the good in goodbye?

Don't know why, I am suddenly inspired to do a post. Right at AMK Hub while waiting for my princess to finish he facial.

Every time I hear your name, I just go into a fits of rage. Really. And all the insignificant people out there, don't read too much into this post because as bored as I am, you will definitely not make it to my posts not even when I am about to die from boredom. This rage comes from this mega bitch which shall not be named before I have to go for reformative sessions for nothing.

I'm glad the semester is nearly over, with the exceptions of the exams. Can't say I'm proud of myself because hmm, I foresee two outcomes of this semester, both I genuinely regret. #1, I will get kicked out. #2, I have about 3/4 of the total modules I took this sem to repeat. So hello Year 4, I smell you already.

Things I will be sure I will not do if (so help me God please) I actually get past this sem. I will not cut classes. I will be an A student which, haha I should be capable of if I actually decide to put in the efforts. If I can get straights As for 2 sems in ITE with my very bad behaviour and attitude(sleep in class + more MC than the number of days I'm in school + in school but in the toilet more than half the time + really almost go kicked out), I should be able to do it here with the right attitude. Okay yes, I always say the same shit but do otherwise. But it's about time I matured and actually do something right in my life and actually work for something I actually wanted so badly 2 years back.

You see, complacency kills you. Really.

Truce between me and you, I don't want to or need to fight you, it's pointless because you are a bitch and the only way you can ever win is by unscrupulous methods which we both know, you are very capable of and it's about the only thing you'll ever know how to do.

Big BANG Theory

Harrows, okay yeah I have bangs now. Big surprise. (I was pretty skeptical about it myself)

Well, new hair for the new year and new beginnings! What the heck, why not!

Okay not much updates, life in Singapore can't get any more interesting than anything you've already experienced, really. So yeah, days are mundane as always. School serves as a threat, yeah it's on the line now for me. If I am capable of screwing up any further(which is an understatement because of course I can go all out), I would do permanent damage on my future transcript if I manage to earn one. Yes.. I need to grow the fuck up and stop fucking with my future..

So, the key comes to me soon. (Katie, Keith, if you're reading this don't mock, just say Hi.) Boy, I'm getting old. And I guess it's true, as age catches up, you just get cranky. I sound like I'm turning fucking 60. No I'm kidding, it's just the pms kicking in and I've just been having crazy mood swings and I've just been mad grumpy lately. There really isn't a reason for me to get hyped up about hmm, turning 21? Feels like a normal year, hoping I don't screw my life over.

On a lighter note, my health is spiraling downwards. No I'm not kidding. I get these crazy stomach problems every now and then. And I don't know, spending more than 6 hours away from my bed, I feel like I'll collapse. Seriously. I never seem to get enough sleep be it after 14 hours or 6 hours of sleep. Really. And I don't know. Just got this vibe my days are numbered. Either that or I'm pregnant. (I'M JUST KIDDING, CHILL) HAHAHA why am I so morbid right? But really, the next invitation you receive from me might just be to my wake. Come in rainbow colours guys, black and white's too normal and normal is what I've been for my entire life. Funeral has got to be awesome, at least. (how is this a lighter note, I don't know really.)

Okay, pictures of me bangs in a bit. Please ignore the huge mess of a sty I call a room for me. Too lazy to crop the photos, and this was before CNY. So the mess. Okay, too much coke for the day so the funny way I speak. I'm somewhere between stoned and hyperactive. Yeah but beyond normal. You know?

My grandma just came in to ask me "If born in 1931, how old this year?" Awwww, she's so cute! Plus the cute blur face she's got on when she was asking me. Anyway Mama's turning 80 soon. I love you Mama, goodnight. :)