In this life, I was loved by you.

What a tyrant the way some people act. You know it's fine if you want things to go your way, I can compromise. It's fine if you never wanna lose in an argument, I can bite my tongue. It's fine if you think I'm some form of entertainment because "Hey make fun of Val all you want, she's okay, her feelings won't be hurt, can call her whatever you want.", I can pretend it doesn't hurt all the time and play along all the time. But I now see that that's where I went wrong. I should have fussed about such trivial matters I thought would be just a one off thing, but look, it happens every other day, in front of people I barely know. I do feel embarrassed. I do have feelings. If I wanna be known any other way my self introduction would be "Hi, you can call me Val, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I get hurt all the time and oh yeah I have a figure of a ruler and I have no ass and I am as skinny as a monkey because too bad for me my limbs are proportionately long so it makes me look funny."

Whatever it is you wanna do to me, I am fine with it as long as it doesn't kill me. However much anger I have, it subsides eventually so I always feel like there's no need to show it and spoil the friendship relationship kinship, whoever you are to me. The minor hiccup here would be that I am human too, I have flesh blood and unfortunately feelings. Wanna talk about sensitivity, if you really do know me like family or like a very close friend, you would know I am one of the most sensitive and fragile person you can ever see. However much I try to conceal, how I try to laugh it off all the fucking time, the real sensitivity in me, nobody sees. So I don't blame you if you tend to forget that I'm the fragile kind. Because all these years I've been trying to be strong and putting on an act is the closest I can get. What's the use of pouring your heart out, creating a scene over something that just doesn't go your way? I've always felt that taking a deep breath, letting it go and sustain the friendship relationship or kinship in return was something more worthwhile. Pity some people have a very different view on such matters of the heart.

But I come to my point, that I am human. I have feelings and I do snap too. Well, pros and cons to having such a personality where you put everyone you love before yourself, is that when you snap there's no turning back. But it would take one helluva tsunami to make someone like me snap. Really. I mean snap at someone who means something to me. You see, just because I'm nice it doesn't give you any right to take advantage of this kindness. But you see, thing about people is that they tend to do so subconsciously. So fine, if you take advantage of me I'm okay with it. But seriously you see. I have a threshold of the shit that I can take, which I already think is higher than majority of the people I know. There are limits to everything. Sometimes, you need to take a step back and spare a thought for the others. It doesn't kill, it just takes up a little time from your self absorbed mind.